It’s the system
I’ve created a free introduction to Self With Others, accessible to anyone in any sphere of life. It’ll offer you insights and guidance towards aligning with the world, struggling less, living more easefully and accessing greater daily joy.
When you sign up you’ll receive two emails a week for 8 weeks giving you insights and perspectives that gradually build into a comprehensive way of living in this interconnected world.
This is email #4. You can find the previous three emails here. You can access the full series — in the appropriate order — by following this link:
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The third of The Three Domains is ‘Systems Work’
‘Systems’ refers to any formal or informal structure or process of interconnection.
An office is a system. Communication within the office may be a different system to communication between one office and another, or between the office and other levels of management.
A family is a system. There are channels of connection, there’s often an inner core and an extended network of connections. There are cultural or religious expectations that make some things possible, others forbidden.
A school is a whole network of systems — friendship groups, peer groups, relationships with particular teachers, management structures, discipline structures.
You are a system — internally. You’re a network of interconnections as we’ve already explored.
The important thing to understand about systems is that sometimes they create outcomes that don’t seem to map onto inputs.
Two people in a conversation may both have genuinely good intentions, but something in the power relationship, or where the conversation took place, or the history that exists between them, means the outcome of the conversation is distrust and dispute. Perhaps that’s one person’s fault. Perhaps it’s because they were not connecting openly. Perhaps it’s because of the system they were connecting in warped the results into something neither intended.
Systems create feedback loops. Something happens which changes other things, which cause other things to happen. Think of feedback through a badly-placed microphone. The screaming you hear is what the system created from a perfectly innocent small noise you made.
Sometimes an idea you have can connect with a fear and those two things can interact until what you’re thinking or feeling has nothing much to do with either the original idea or the original fear.
Systems do that. They create outcomes that don’t seem to relate to inputs.The third of The Three Domains is ‘Systems Work’
‘Systems’ refers to any formal or informal structure or process of interconnection.
An office is a system. Communication within the office may be a different system to communication between one office and another, or between the office and other levels of management.
A family is a system. There are channels of connection, there’s often an inner core and an extended network of connections. There are cultural or religious expectations that make some things possible, others forbidden.
A school is a whole network of systems — friendship groups, peer groups, relationships with particular teachers, management structures, discipline structures.
You are a system — internally. You’re a network of interconnections as we’ve already explored.
The important thing to understand about systems is that sometimes they create outcomes that don’t seem to map onto inputs.
Two people in a conversation may both have genuinely good intentions, but something in the power relationship, or where the conversation took place, or the history that exists between them, means the outcome of the conversation is distrust and dispute. Perhaps that’s one person’s fault. Perhaps it’s because they were not connecting openly. Perhaps it’s because of the system they were connecting in warped the results into something neither intended.
Systems create feedback loops. Something happens which changes other things, which cause other things to happen. Think of feedback through a badly-placed microphone. The screaming you hear is what the system created from a perfectly innocent small noise you made.
Sometimes an idea you have can connect with a fear and those two things can interact until what you’re thinking or feeling has nothing much to do with either the original idea or the original fear.
Systems do that. They create outcomes that don’t seem to relate to inputs.
So as you observe your inner and outer world, it’s always worth identifying the invisible or unspoken dynamics that affect your inner or outer life.
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Using The Three Domains.
In the last three emails we’ve looked at The Three Domains
Inner Work.
Connection Work.
Systems Work.
What do we do with this insight?
Put simply identifying three different Domains helps us make wise choices about where to direct attention and effort.
If there’s something you identify as no longer serving you, before you decide what to do about it, ask where the heart of the problem is. Do you need to change something in your thinking or reactions? Do you need to change how you’re connecting with elements of the problem? Do you need to change the structures and network of relationships the problem occurs within.
In practical terms what does this look like?
Let’s go back to that ‘difficult work conversation’ we explored in the last email.
Is it difficult because the of subject matter? Or the other person triggers something in you? Do you bring assumptions to the conversation that you could choose to leave aside? This is inner work.
Is it difficult because you are not really connecting with the other person. Or they with you? Or are you refusing to connect with your own emotions or doubts and so creating a sense of unease? This is connection work.
Is it difficult because of where and how it’s happening. Are there awkward (real or imagined) power relationship at play? Would the conversation go better if it happened informally over coffee? Or in a formal meeting? How could the context of the conversation be changed to help things go better?
This is Systems Work.
Often all three domains are present in any situation. However usually one is more important — or immediately important — than the others.
Recognising this helps you use your attention and efforts wisely.
There’s no point in trying to improve your inner alignment if the major problem you’re facing is that you’re in a toxic environment. That’s a systemic problem.
There’s no point in trying to connect better with someone if you or they are constantly distracted and you’re both trapped in your own assumptions. That’s Connection Work.
There’s no point in having a wonderful workplace and colleagues if you’re too unaligned internally to be open to them. That’s Inner Work.
Self-With-Others encourages us to identify where to put effort into changing things for the better — and not waste time and energy on things that are not the heart of a problem.