Perfectionism

Perfectionism

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What’s the perfect relationship?

What’s the perfect job?

What’s the perfect family?

What’s the perfect painting?

Where is the perfect holiday destination?

Who is the perfect guitar player?

What’s this ‘perfect life’ people promise you (usually if you buy their latest product)?

Absurd questions. Every one of them.

My ‘perfect holiday’ might be in the mountains. Yours might be by the sea.

Perhaps if I went to the sea, I’d discover I prefer it to the mountains.

If I gave up on the idea the sea is not ‘perfect’, I could enjoy it for what it is.

Which is perfect? Mountains or sea?

The notion of perfection is ridiculous. So is the striving for it. It’s a striving for what can never exist. It’s a commitment to dissatisfaction and disappointment.

Am I saying everything is imperfect? Everything’s a bit crap?

No. I am saying the idea of ‘perfection’ is a toxic falsehood. It keeps us striving for the unattainable, instead of valuing the real.

Rather than saying ‘nothing is perfect’, I’m saying ‘everything is perfect’. I’m saying ‘everything is perfectly as it is, and that’s the world we work within.’

Does that mean we should shrug in the face of what isn’t working because ‘that’s how it is’? That we should embrace apathy? Put up with our unhappiness? Give up?

I am absolutely NOT saying that.

I’m saying ‘work with what is.’

I’m saying, ‘get real’.

I’m saying ‘grow from where you are instead of trying to be what can never exist’.

Rejecting perfectionism does not mean giving up learning, growth, discovery, ambition.

It means giving up toxic fantasy.

When you paint, write, have a conversation, design a product, build a relationship, work with what’s – and make it better.

You’ll never make ‘perfect’, but can aim for ‘brilliant’ every day.

Every tree is different. Every tree is perfectly as it is. Every tree, each day, strives to grow slightly closer to the sun.

Today, grow towards your personal sun, knowing you’ll never get there, and if you did, it would destroy you.

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I help you cure soul-sickness through creative transition.

Thirty years a writer, composer, painter, director & performer.

For coaching & conversation – be in touch

I recently published a short series of articles about putting creativity at the heart of daily life. I’d love you to get hold of a copy: https://www.subscribepage.io/everydayencouragement

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