You’re not a thing, you’re a relationship
How can we live authentically, when we’re each such a tiny part of a vast universe?
How do we combine self-care and individual fulfillment, with social engagement and ethical, altruistic life-choices?
How can we align our needs, desires and obligations without exploiting others or the earth?
We start, so often, to answer questions like these with ‘I’.
How might that change if we gave up our obsession with ‘I’ and, instead, thought from the perspective of ‘I-with’…?
Here’s a fundamental truth.
We’re interconnected.
To say so seems painfully obvious, but it needs regular re-saying in a world of obsessive, sometimes violent, individualism.
What might we find beyond insistance on the primacy of the individual?
How might awarenss of interconnectedness change our daily choices and the way we build community?
Thich Nhat Hanh writes of ‘interbeing’:
‘…all things exist in a state of interconnected being, interwoven and mutually dependent.’
Charles Eisenstein in his book ‘Climate: A New Story’ writes:
‘Interbeing doesn’t go so far as to say: ‘We’re all one’, but it does release the rigid boundaries of the discrete self to say that existence is relational. Who I am depends on who you are. The world is part of me, just as I am part of it.’
However, much self-help and personal development literature focuses on individual growth. It emphasises only inner work and, at its worse, seems to be nothing more than soft-focus narcissism.
Me. Me. Me.
On the other hand, politics and ideology traditionally focus on changing ‘the other’ or ’society’. Little attention has habitually been paid to the effect of activism on the activist. Such an view can lead to burn-out and cynicism, or, as has happened for too often, the dispiriting sight of people who profess progressive intentions treating all around them with contempt and sometimes abuse.
Whatever we change outside of us, in turn, changes us.
True inner change will cause external change. Genuine external change can guide inner change.
I change all I connect with, and all I connect with changes me.
We’re mutually dependent.
For thirty years I trained physical performers. My particular concern (and the subject of my first book) was ‘ensemble’ — that quasi-magical connectedness between dancers, actors, musicians, improvisors, acrobats or others, that makes them appear to be thinking as one, reacting faster than thought, somehow merging into an organism greater than its constituent parts.
I was never happy with the notion that this connectedness was something miraculous.
Performance is based in technique.
Technique can be taught.
So I created an approach to training individuals-in-ensemble which I called Self-With-Others.
Consider for a moment what a performer working at the highest level in any performance form is actually doing.
They must be fully connected to their inner world. They’re delivering the embodied detail of a performance, effortlessly giving the impression of creating that performance in the moment.
They’re simultaneously aware of the requirenents of each moment, and the long-term objective they’re working towards. They are focused on ‘now’, but never forget where ‘now’ sits within a big trajectory of the whole performance.
At the same time as being absolutely inwardly focused, they’re ALSO absolutely outwardly focused.
They’re connecting with other performers, audience, architecture or the quality of sound in a space.
They’re responding and spontaneously adapting to large or small shifts in energy.
They’re co-creating with others.
They respond absolutely to the internal and external moment, while also honouring individual and collective objectives.
It’s exceptionally high level skill. Researching and teaching ensemble performance techniques took up several decades of my professional life.
A few years ago, burnt out, recovering from illness and unwilling to keep flying all over the world, I began to explore how to share my set of training techniques, which I call Self-With-Others, with people who work outside the world of performance.
Self-With-Others offers a framework for thriving in an interconnected world.
It gives solid ground to stand on, when the world seems overwhelming and chaotic.
It guides you to be an interconnected individual: integrated, empowered, ethical, compassionate, creative and courageous.
Self-With-Others helps you belong in your:
— body/mind
— family
— workplace
— culture
— community
— natural environment.
It combines personal, interpersonal and systemic perspectives.
It’s an integrated and holistic approach to living.
Self-With-Others reminds you how extraordinary this world can be — and how to live in it with respect and a commitment to stewardship.
Self-With-Others, combines profound insights with practical tools.
Self-With-Others draws together perspectives from:
– personal development
– ensemble
– systems thinking
It draws on techniques of
– mindfulness
– presence
– interpersonal communication
– systems analysis.
These multiple approaches, together, create a powerful foundation for healthy and effective living.
Self-With-Others challenges core assumptions about how to live — that we must always compete, that mind and body are disconnected, that we’re separate from ‘nature’.
Drawing on scientific, ecological, spiritual, performance, sociological, psychological and educational traditions and research, Self-With-Others inspires and transforms people in business, community activism, healthcare, therapy, education, spiritual enquiry, performance, creativity, coaching and personal development.
Self-With-Others is an invitation to live more easefully, and with awe, fully in the centre of your own life.
Presence is the foundation.
How does it do all this?
Self-With-Others focuses on understanding how to connect with NOW.
You’ve agency only in the present moment. Being aware and open to NOW is the foundation of creativity, empowerment and effectiveness.
Enhancing presence builds multiple personal and interpersonal attributes, including confidence, communication skills, connectedness, creativity and compassion.
The heart of developing presence in Self-With-Others are The 8 Principles of Presence.
Three Domains
Self-With-Others stands on three main pillars:
The Integrated Self (Inner Work)
Interconnection (Relational Work)
Understanding Systems (Systems Thinking)
The work on ‘The Integrated Self’ is based in Psychophysicality. This recognises the body and mind as integrated parts of a coherent, non-dualistic, human organism.
The work on ‘Interconnection’ is based in research on Ensemble. It explores effective, creative collaboration through mutual empowerment. It draws together competition and cooperation — a combination observed in all functional ecosystems.
‘Understanding Systems’ is based in Systems Thinking. This involves identifying and understanding processes of interconnection. Systems have ‘emergent properties’, outcomes and feedback loops which cannot be mapped directly onto specific inputs.
Transformation — personal, social or institutional — requires attention to all three areas at once: the self, interconnectedness and structural/systemic feedback loops
These three core domains (Psychophysicality, Ensemble & Systems Thinking) are each explored through…
Seven key areas of inquiry:
Seeing (Key Question: ‘What story am I telling myself right now?’)
Stopping (Key Question: ‘What could I do less of?’)
Flowing (Key Question: ‘What challenges could I set to absorb my attention?)
Playing (Key Question: ‘How else might I so this?’)
Being (Key Question: ‘What aspects of me feel out of alignment?’)
Enjoying (Key Question: ‘What makes me want to do this?’)
Connecting (Key Question: ‘What networks and systems am I part of?)
Though developed from long, practical research into the training of physical performers, Self-With-Others offers a framework for personal and collective growth in all area of professional or personal life.
Among the core qualities it has been observed to develop are:
Openness; Mental discipline; Charisma; Compassion; Curiosity; Kindness; Acceptance/Tolerance; Wonder; Easefulness; Enthusiasm; Motivation; Optimism; Empowerment; Relational Sensitivity; Personal Attunement: Creativity; Presence; Attention to Detail; Mindful Awareness: Connectedness: Self-confidence: Resilience: Self-awareness: Collaboration within Diversity; Self-motivation; Reflective and learning skills.
Now I no longer work much in training performers. Self-With-Others continues to evolve and deepen.
It reminds me of a simple insight I had decades ago and which I’ve never had cause to doubt: what it takes to be a great performer maps tightly onto what it takes to be a great person.
That’s not to say all performers are great, kind, intelligent or noble. It’s to say that the techniques of sensitivity, sponteneity, connectedness, disicpline and — above all — presence necesary to great performance, are foundational to living a great life.
I share this broad overview of Self-With-Others here in the hope it opens some persepctives for you.
I’d really love to know if it does.
After thirty years performing, directing and teaching around the world, now I coach and mentor artists and others to live in joy and creativity. I also still perform sometimes, but usually keep my clothes on.
More information about me here: www.johnbritton.co
Email: [email protected]