A process of healing
With my colleague Sorrel Pindar, I’ve been putting together a programme for Boarding School Survivors. You can find out more about it here.
We explore strategies for moving beyond a sense of disconnection, isolation and anxiety. Sorrel and I both trace these feelings back to having been sent to Boarding School at a young age.
Ah yes… ‘Boarding School’, a magical mix between Harry Potter and St Trinians?
Actually, no.
The preserve of privilege…?
Actually, yes.
But not necessarily in a good way:
Nick Duffel writes in his book ‘The Making of Them’ about how those of us who went to boarding school feel unable to acknowledge it may not have done us as much good as our parents assumed it would. Indeed, it may have done a lot of harm.
We fear being scorned for bemoaning our ‘privilege’:
“This unsympathetic scorn is just what the survivor fears most when he tries to talk about the difficulties of his schooldays. But it is not just from the outside that the survivor feels under threat. This is the point. Most frequently, the survivor lacks sympathy for himself, and thinks he is being ‘pathetic’.” (‘The Making of Them: The British Attitude to Children and the Boarding School System’)
It’s not pathetic, though it’s taken me many decades to acknowledge that fact.
When you’re sent away to school at a young age (I was 8), you experience a profound loss of childhood — exiled from the familiar and secure, into an institution with a profound lack of love but daily presence of threat.
For me that ‘threat’ manifested in prolonged bullying over several years. I’ve written about it here and here
There are other childhood dislocations — constant moving house, family breakdown, bereavement, among others — which can have similar consequences in adult life.
The good news? Through self-reflection, mental hygiene and connection with others, we can move forward without having to deep-dive into the past.
That’s what Sorrel and I want to explore with you.
If you feel the echoes of the past limiting you in the present, get in touch. We’d love to offer you some ways forward.
After thirty years performing, directing and teaching around the world, now I coach and mentor artists and others to live in joy and creativity. More information about me here: www.johnbritton.co
I’ve space for some new 1-on-1 clients at the moment. If you’re considering individual guidance on liberating your creativity and bringing yourself into closer alignment with the life you want to live, use this link to find a time when we can chat. No obligation, just conversation.
Email: [email protected]